my first parent teacher conference

This week I got to experience the parent-teacher conference for the first time. I was very nervous when I first heard that a parent wanted to meet with Ms. Morris (and I would have to be there since I had been teaching for the last two weeks) AND THE PRINCIPAL. All kinds of things ran through my head...what had I done wrong, what if the parents complained about the education their son was getting because I was in the classroom, had the son told her that I had treated him unfairly when I had to reprimand him on the playground a few days earlier? The more I thought about it, the more convinced I was that I had done something horribly wrong and was about to be fired (from student teaching).

It ended up that the principal could not attend at the time the parents requested the meeting and they agreed that it wasn't essential for her to be there. At the designated time the mother, father, and son all walked in. It ended up being a little bit of a gripe session for the son. He felt like he was not being treated fairly by other students on the playground when they would get him out in four square and he thought he was getting infractions in class because the boy who sits next to him was distracting. It was a classic example of what I had read about in Love and Logic  when it described how some will blame others to avoid personal pain.  While I was sitting there I was wondering how Ms. Morris would handle all of his complaints when I know that his parents were probably thinking their poor son was failing because of the behavior of others.

The first thing I should note is that Ms. Morris was prepared for the meeting. She had data to support everything she said. When little "Johnny" tried to say that he was getting infractions because of his neighbor, she pointed out that since February the only infractions he had received had been for not completing his homework. She had his grades available and a list of all of his infractions and the reason for them right there on paper. She then confronted him about a recent time where he had lied to her about his homework and addressed the importance of always being honest.  By the end of the meeting she had addressed all of his concerns, had come up with solutions for problems that were still bugging him, complimented him on his patience with his neighbor and expressed her high expectations for his behavior and classroom success. WOW, I don't know how she managed to do all that and still keep the meeting very cordial and positive. It was very interesting to witness and I guess the main thing I took with me from this experience was to keep the data and  be prepared!