The second week I was in the classroom the teacher was out in the afternoon and a substitute came in. I was doing most of the work but the substitute had to be there. There is one student who has EBD. He can be a very sweet child and Ms. Morris is wonderful with him. This is evidenced by the fact that he has not had an outburst since I have been there. She merely says "OK -------, I hear you. Now you need to go do what I asked you to do." She made it look so easy. It didn't seem to work for me on that Friday. He was having trouble with division and I was trying to explain it to him. He kept saying, "NO, that isn't how Mrs. Morris told me to do it." I kept trying to explain it to him and he kept getting louder and louder. The day ended with him having a meltdown and crying in the hallway. I tried and tried to figure out what I had done wrong. One thing I noted was that as he was getting more and more agitated...so was I. I had a hard time keeping a calm tone. I didn't yell, but my voice and body language were not conveying a sense of calm. Other than that, I couldn't figure out how this had happened.
Fast forward a week, and I'm teaching a lesson on science. All the students are sitting in their assigned spot on the carpet, except -----. I asked him to go to his spot and he said "There isn't enough room for me over there. I want to stay here." I again repeated the request and he started to say the same thing. I calmly asked him if he was being respectful and told him he needed to go to his spot. Amazingly, he did! Wow, how did that happen? No crying, screaming, or timeout in the hallway. He just got up, with a little huff, and went to his spot. What was the difference? Well I did keep a calm tone this time and that may have helped but, the main thing that changed was our relationship. I have been trying to talk to him and develop a relationship with him and I have noticed his attitude has changed toward me. Don't get me wrong, he still gets upset and doesn't always behave up to expectations but now I often get hugs in the morning and stories of his weekend. Relationship is everything!
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